Seven Tips for Making New Friends.

Ancient philosophers and scientists agree: strong social ties are the KEY to happiness. You need close, long-term relationships; you need to be able to confide in others; you need to belong; you need to get and give support. Studies show that if you have five or more friends with whom to discuss an important matter you’re far more likely to describe yourself as “very happy.”

Not only does having strong relationships make it far more likely that you take joy in life, but studies show that it also lengthens life (incredibly, even more than stopping smoking), boosts immunity, and cuts the risk of depression.

“Okay, okay,” you’re thinking, “I get it -- but it’s not that easy to make new friends.” Here are some strategies to try, if you’re eager to make friends but are finding it tough:

1. Show up. Just as Woody Allen said that “Eighty percent of success is showing up,” a big part of friendship is showing up. Whenever you have the chance to see other people, take it. Go to the party. Stop by someone’s desk. Make the effort.

Also, the mere exposure effect describes the fact that repeated exposure makes you like someone better – and makes that person like you better, too. You’re much more likely to become friends with someone if you see him or her often. I’ve seen this happen over and over in my life. I’ve become close to unlikely people, just because circumstances put us in constant contact.

2. Join a group. Being part of a natural group, where you have common interests and are brought together automatically, is the easiest way to make friends: starting a new job, taking a class, having a baby, joining a congregation, or moving to a new neighborhood are great opportunities to join a group. If those situations aren’t an option, try to find a different group to join. Get a dog, for example. Or pursue a hobby more seriously. An added advantage to making friends through a group is that you can strengthen your friendships to several people at once -- very helpful if you don't have a lot of free time.

3. Form a group. If you can’t find an existing group to join, start a group based around something that interests you. My children's literature reading groups – (yes, now I’ve helped start TWO of these groups -- the first one became so large that we had to close it to new members) are among the top joys of my life. Studies show that each common interest between people boosts the chances of a lasting relationship, and also brings about a 2% increase in life satisfaction, but I’m confident that my kidlit groups have given me a lift in life satisfaction much higher than two percent. Movies, wine, cheese, pets, marathon-training, a language, a worthy cause…I know people in all these sorts of groups.

4. Say nice things about other people. It’s a kind way to behave; also, studies show that because of the psychological phenomenon of spontaneous trait transference, people unintentionally transfer to you the traits you ascribe to other people. So if you tell Jean that Pat is arrogant, unconsciously Jean associates that quality with you. On the other hand, if you say that Pat is hilarious, you’ll be linked to that quality.

5. Set a target. This strategy sounds very calculating, but it has really worked for me. When I enter a situation where I meet a new set of people, I set myself the goal of making three new friends. This seems artificial, but somehow, this shift makes me behave differently, it makes me more open to people, it prompts me to make the effort to say more than a perfunctory hello.

6. Make an effort to smile. Big surprise, studies show that the amount of time you smile during a conversation has a direct effect on how friendly you’re perceived to be. In fact, people who can’t smile due to facial paralysis have trouble with relationships.

7. Make friends with friends-of-friends. “Triadic closure” is the term for the fact that people tend to befriend the friends of their friends. So friends-of-friends is an excellent place to start if you’re trying to expand your circle.

Read more: http://ilhamnurulresources.blogspot.com/#ixzz1IwXQSXUm

Awas! Panggilan telefon penyamun siber

KUALA LUMPUR: Awas! Hanya menerusi panggilan telefon, satu sindiket penipuan antarabangsa dipercayai didalangi warga Taiwan boleh membuatkan anda pokai dan setakat ini hampir 200 orang menjadi mangsa membabitkan kerugian kira-kira RM10 juta.

Sindiket itu yang bergiat aktif sejak dua tahun lalu mempunyai kepakaran tinggi apabila mampu memastikan nombor telefon pemanggil yang tertera pada telefon bimbit mangsa adalah nombor telefon Ibu Pejabat Polis Bukit Aman atau Bank Negara.

Pengarah Jabatan Siasatan Jenayah Komersial (JSJK) Bukit Aman, Datuk Wira Syed Ismail Syed Azizan, berkata mangsa terbaru sindiket itu ialah seorang lelaki dari Sabah berusia 30-an yang tertipu sebanyak RM250,000.

Menurutnya, modus operandi sindiket licik itu memerangkap mangsa dimulakan dengan menelefon mangsa dengan pemanggil menyamar sebagai pegawai polis Bukit Aman atau kakitangan Bank Negara.

“Mangsa dimaklumkan akaun bank atau kad kredit mereka diceroboh pihak ketiga dan jika tidak segera memindahkan wang ke akaun lain, mereka akan kerugian kerana wang akan dicuri sindiket penipuan,” katanya.

Menurut Syed Ismail, mangsa pada mulanya tidak percaya maklumat itu dan akan menghubungi semula nombor telefon terbabit, namun panggilan mereka dijawab mesin operator elektronik sama seperti sistem yang diguna pakai Bukit Aman atau bahagian khidmat pelanggan Bank Negara. “Siasatan polis mendapati sindiket terbabit menggunakan perisian khas dikenali sebagai Voice Internet Protocol iaitu sistem panggilan telefon melalui pelayan komputer bagi memudahkan proses penyamaran.

“Justeru, mangsa yang mula yakin dan takut wang mereka hilang akan mengikut arahan diberikan dan arahan itu yang menyebabkan mangsa kehilangan wang di dalam akaun bank atau kad kredit mereka,” katanya.

Beliau berkata, antara arahan pemanggil yang mendakwa pegawai polis Bukit Aman atau kakitangan Bank Negara itu ialah memberikan satu siri nombor yang didakwa kod atau kata laluan untuk proses transaksi pemindahan wang melalui mesin juruwang automatik (ATM).

“Selepas mangsa memindahkan wang ke dalam akaun ketiga yang diberikan, mereka juga diminta menghapuskan resit bank atas alasan keselamatan.

“Selepas berbuat demikian mangsa diarah menunggu tiga jam, kononnya untuk proses kemas kini akaun sebelum diminta menghubungi semula si pemanggil untuk membolehkan mereka mengambil semula wang.

“Bagaimanapun, suspek gagal dihubungi selepas itu dan menghilangkan diri. Ketika itu mangsa menyedari mereka ditipu, tambahan pula apabila mendapati wang dalam akaun masing-masing sudah tiada dan mereka tiada akses untuk akaun ketiga di mana wang mereka dipindahkan,” katanya.

Syed Ismail berkata, siasatan sepasukan anggota Bahagian Operasi JSJK Bukit Aman setakat ini menahan dua wanita tempatan berusia 23 dan 31 tahun di Taman Muda, Cheras, di sini, pada 30 Mac lalu.

“Tangkapan dilakukan di sebuah rumah teres berhampiran beberapa bank yang dipercayai menjadi tempat melakukan transaksi,” katanya.

Menurutnya, siasatan juga mendapati sebahagian besar pemilik akaun ketiga yang digunakan sindiket itu untuk memindahkan wang daripada akaun mangsa turut ditipu secara halus.

Ini kerana mereka yang juga warga tempatan tidak mengetahui tujuan nama mereka digunakan untuk membuka akuan itu, sebaliknya terpengaruh untuk mendapatkan wang cara mudah melalui komisen tanpa melakukan sebarang kerja. “Selain itu, siasatan polis mendapati modus operandi yang mereka lakukan ini taktik baru. Sebelum ini sindiket sama skim penipuan dengan menawarkan mangsa percutian ke Macau, kononnya sebagai hadiah istimewa dimenangi mereka.

“Namun, mangsa terlebih dulu perlu memasukkan wang pendahuluan ke dalam akaun bank diberikan dan selepas mangsa memasukkan wang, anggota sindiket terbabit menghilangkan diri,” katanya. Berikutan itu, Syed Ismail menasihatkan orang ramai berhati-hati dan segera melaporkan pada polis jika dihubungi individu yang mendakwa mereka pegawai polis Bukit Aman atau kakitangan Bank Negara serta dan meminta segera memindahkan wang di dalam akaun peribadi masing-masing ke akaun pihak ketiga.

Read more: http://ilhamnurulresources.blogspot.com/#ixzz1IwX6xphY